It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
should my penis look like a turkey
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
