4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
