I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
