Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
