can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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