oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize