did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
