dude i'm inner monologue high
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
