I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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