Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
