I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
