Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
