Non-Jews are for practice
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
