So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
