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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
