How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I came so hard my ears popped.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
