So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
