Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
