I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize