i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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