This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
