the condom got lost in my hair
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
