i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
