Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
