mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
