Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
