I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Liz is crying about burritos again.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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