don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
