Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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