Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I need water and some morals
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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