I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
