oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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