i don't like sucking hair
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize