I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
