these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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