you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
