Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
