so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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