Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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