But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
