3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
