remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
