Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
