Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
