New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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