Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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