a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
