four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
