and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
