Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
