The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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