mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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