oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
