i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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