do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
