I think I died a long time ago.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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