Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
