I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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