DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dicks are not precious.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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