life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
